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Archive for sas

crunk reports

Available on the internet, finally, are my crunk reports written in the fall of 2005 for my voyage circumnavigating the globe with 700 crazy people.

For those who don’t quite understand these. I took the publication of our ship and modified it a little and attempted to pass it off as the real deal. It worked. The dean of the ship reportedly enjoyed it.


Crunk Report 1 | Crunk Report 2 | Crunk Report 3 | Crunk Report 4 | Crunk Report 5


Accosted by ‘tutes

Nha Trang, Vietnam. 4 a.m.ish.

I just left a bar that may have been called the Country Club, which was full of travelers of all sorts. I met a dude, age ~old, who may or may not have fathered many children in many nations throughout his years. He didn’t seem very proud of that fact, but he did however, feel proud of his ability to buy me and my friends drinks and shots and high fives.

Also, I spent a bunch of time on the beach nearby the bar talking to a girl whose name I’ve since forgotten that was Austrailian and a few years my senior. After hitting on her for probably an hour and not succeeding, I decided to go back to my hotel and find my friends who left me hours earlier.

It was late, dark and I was somewhat drunk. I took the wrong street home and made it into a scenic, long route. After I regained my bearings, I took the right turns to get home. As I walked, I noticed two girls on a motorcycle stop nearby. They stopped next to me and began to talk to me.

“You need ride?”
“Come on, get on here.”

One of the girls gets off the bike and comes up to me. “Come with me.” “No.” “Why?” “Why would I?” Girl inappropriately grabs me. I start running faster. “Where you stay?” “Right over there, leave me alone.” “No, we come with. I suck, she f***.” I run. She catches up, thinking that she just needs to grab me more. Her english is limited so she returns to the same conversation, which I once again turn down. I run again. She gets on her friend’s bike and they leave.

It was crazy.